


You got the cutest ass

by trilliastra



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, Alternate Universe - Human, Car Sex, Cora Hale is awesome, Costumes, Fluff, Frottage, Humor, M/M, Stiles and Scott Bromance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-11
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-11 22:21:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1178646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trilliastra/pseuds/trilliastra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Stop staring at his ass.” Scott whispers. “It's embarrassing.”</p><p>“I can't.” He answers. “I'm hypnotized, Scott. The ass is calling for me.”</p><p>-<br/>In which Derek dresses as Captain America, Stiles stares at his ass a lot and Cora Hale is evil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You got the cutest ass

There's a butt standing in line right in front of Stiles.

Actually, that butt belongs to a guy dressed as Captain America but given that Stiles can't see his face he decided to just stare at the butt.

Because the butt is majestic. A master piece.

It's a butt to put all the others butts to shame.

The spandex molds it so nicely and Stiles can see almost everything. He might even be drooling a little bit, but fuck if he cares. That butt deserves a medal.

He figures the guy who owns it must deserve a medal too, but in Stiles' experience whoever has a butt and shoulders like that must really be compensating something. Like his face.

Or his cock.

The guy shifts on his feet, turning to look at the line behind him and Stiles gets an eyeful of his crotch and – no, definitely not compensating the cock.

Stiles lets out an embarrassing noise that he quickly tries to cover with a cough, but judging by the way Scott looks at him, he fails.

“Stop staring at his ass.” Scott whispers, pinching Stiles' arm. “It's embarrassing.”

“I can't.” He answers. “I'm hypnotized, Scott. The ass is calling for me.”

Like the guy heard Stiles – which is impossible because there are so many people here, Stiles wonders if there's anyone left in town – he turns again, glaring at them with the most beautiful set of green eyes Stiles' ever saw.

“He looks like a serial killer.” Scott groans when _awesome-butt_ goes back to his talk with the girl dressed as Black Widow who's standing next to him. “You're going to get us killed.”

“You can't even see his face.” Stiles points. He never loved and hated a costume so much in his life – Stiles would really like to see what awesome-butt is hiding under that mask just so he can have all details for later when he's certainly going to masturbate thinking about that ass. “Let me enjoy the view, Scott.”

“You're an idiot and I refuse to be your best friend.” Scott hisses, stuffing his mouth with the popcorn they bought to eat _while_ watching the movie. It's a good thing Stiles always comes prepared – he has a package of Skittles hidden in one of his pockets.

Watch the new Avengers movie dressed as Nick Fury was the best idea ever.

“No, you're not.” Stiles sings-songs. “You love me.” Scott makes a gagging noise, punching Stiles' arm.

This time when awesome-butt turns to glare at them again, Stiles grins.

“Hey.” He greets. “Nice costume, dude.”

“It was my idea.” Black Widow says and Stiles raises his eyebrow. He didn't ask her, in fact, she could just disappear and Stiles wouldn't care at all. Why is she trying to stop him from talking to awesome-butt? “It looks good, right?” She winks.

Even though Stiles wants to say _yes, yes it fucking does,_ it feels like he's stepping on a trap. Like Black Widow is going to do like the actual spider and eat him after the mating. Not that he's going to mate with her. With her boyfriend on the other hand –

“Well, like I said – it's a nice costume.” Stiles blurts, keeping his eyes on the guy's face because if he looks down – crotch.

Hot guys shouldn't be allowed to wear spandex. Ever.

Scott snorts beside him and he and Black Widow share a conspiratory look.

“But his body helps, too. Right?” Stiles chokes on his own spit.

This girl is evil. _Evil._

“Cora.” Awesome-butt growls and wow, the sound goes straight to Stiles' cock and fuck if his voice isn't perfect too. “Shut up.”

“Just kidding.” She waves him off while Scott bursts out laughing behind them. “It was a bet. Derek has the worst luck in the universe.”

Derek – what a glorious name. Now Stiles has something to look for when he starts his research.

“Not really.” Derek hisses. “It's just that some people like to cheat.”

“Tell me about it.” Stiles nods in agreement and looks at Scott whose only response is to beam at him. “Friends.” He smiles at Derek. For a moment he forgets that Derek is here with his girlfriend and the world seems brighter when he notices that Derek is watching him too, but then Cora snorts and Stiles quickly looks down, trying to hide his blush.

“Bad loser.” Cora shakes her head and then quickly brings a hand to stop her red wig from falling. “I wanted him to come as the Hulk. With all this –” She continues, poking Derek's chest. “he would have been a huge success. Don't you think?”

Holy fuck, Stiles didn't need these images in his head right now.

He doesn't know if Derek coming to the movies dressed as Captain America was better or worse than the alternative.

“Cora, shut up.” Derek hasn't stopped glaring since Cora opened her mouth, and Stiles really wants to join him. The more Cora talks the more Stiles wants to wave her off and drag Derek towards the bathroom so he can climb him like a tree.

It's a problem.

Scott, always the helpful friend, is still laughing like a maniac, gasping for air and Stiles vaguely remembers to worry about his friend being on the verge of an asthma attack.

“I never really liked the Hulk.” Stiles says, smiling shyly as Derek seems to relax after hearing his answer. “I love Iron Man, though.” He throws his arm over Scott's shoulder and grins.

Cora narrows her eyes at them and Derek growls again, before turning back to the line. The silence is awkward now and Stiles doesn't understand why, especially when Scott punches his arm and says _'stop it, dude'._

“What is your name?” Cora inquires, making Derek huff beside her. “Shut up, just because you hate people doesn't mean I have to hate them too.”

“I don't hate people.” He protests. “I just don't feel the urge to go around asking everybody their names.”

“You just don't go around, period.” She banters back and Stiles has the feeling this is a common discussion between them. It doesn't sound much like a boyfriend/girlfriend thing and more like – “Mom says that when he was a kid he used to cry every time someone got too close.”

_Siblings._

Stiles feels much better now that he knows he wasn't staring at someone else's boyfriend.

Despite not being able to see Derek's face, Stiles really liked knowing that that ass is still single.

Okay, Derek is still single.

His entire body is still single.

_Hah._

“We're moving.” Derek groans, taking his sister by the arm and dragging her towards the door.

“See you later, Nick.” Cora waves and follows her perfect brother inside.

Scott is still laughing by the time they reach their seats and the only reason why Stiles hasn't punched him yet is because he doesn't have any other friend to watch Avengers with.

“Oh, man.” Scott wipes tears off his face. “You should have seen your face. And Derek's. It was basically the most hilarious shit I have ever seen.”

“You mean embarrassing.”

“No, I mean hilarious.” Scott drops his head on Stiles' shoulder still laughing. “You thought she and Derek were dating and Derek thought we were dating and basically you two just looked like someone kicked your puppy.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” From where he was standing Derek looked annoyed as fuck and not really interested in Stiles but – “Scott.”

“He was ogling you just as much as you were ogling him, dude.”

Stiles' eyes widen and he can't stop gaping at Scott, even though the movie is about to start.

Well, fuck the movie. He still has three more weeks to watch it, but a hot guy interested in him only appears once every twenty years.

“No, he wasn't.”

“Yes, he was.

“No, he wasn't.”

“Yes, he – you know what? They are sitting on the last row, Cora waved at us but you were too busy moping over a guy you just met.” Scott clamps his hand over Stiles' mouth. “I came to watch the movie, so either go over there or shut up.”

“Fine.” Stiles crosses his arms over his chest and turns to the screen.

Not even Chris Evans' ass makes him pay attention to the movie.

–

“Sorry.” He says after stepping on yet another foot. “Excuse me.”

This must be the stupidest thing he ever did and Stiles blames Scott entirely. Not even eating glue back when he was nine surpasses this.

“Hey, Cora.” Stiles smiles when he reaches her seat. She looks at him annoyed and probably ready to chop his head off, but as recognition hits her, she smiles amused.

The same cannot be said from Derek, who's not wearing his mask anymore and even though he's glaring, he looks hotter than Stiles could have ever imagined. Those cheekbones could cut glass and wow, _hello eyebrows._

“Hey, Nick. Nice to see you again.” She waves while someone throws popcorn at Stiles' face. “What can I do for you?”

“My friend Scott said I'm bad company and that he would prefer to watch the movie with someone else.” He tries, and watches Cora's smile grow while Derek's scowl only intensifies. “Do you mind switching with me?”

At that Derek turns to look at him so fast that Stiles wonders if he hurt anything. “Not at all.” She purrs, turning to kiss her brother's cheek.

More people start to boo at them and throw their popcorns but Stiles ignores them all, fishes the Skittles from the depths of his jacket and collapses on the chair beside Derek. “Hey.” He grins and waves the candy on Derek's face. “Want some?”

“I don't accept food from strangers.” He turns his attention to the screen but Stiles can see the hint of a smile.

Just when he's about to answer someone tells him to shut up and Stiles figures he should really do that.

For five minutes.

“I'm Stiles.” He whispers in Derek's ear. 

Something explodes on the screen and the light allows Stiles to see more of Derek's face. He's smiling openly now and Stiles will swear until the day he dies that at that moment, he could hear angels singing.

“That can't be your real name.” Derek arches his caterpillar eyebrow – that somehow looks really good on him – and Stiles laughs.

“It is until proven otherwise.” He winks, stuffing his mouth with Skittles and shaking the package in front of Derek again. “Which will never happen because I hid my birth certificate.”

“Very clever.” Derek finally takes a handful of the candy and starts eating _one-by-one._ “What?”

“That's not how you eat Skittles.”

“Oh, I'm sorry. Do you want me to eat by color?” He rolls his eyes. 

Stiles never thought he would find someone who could snark back so easily but well – Derek is just full of surprises.

“Just throw it all in.” Derek rolls his eyes and is about to say something else when the guy sitting next to Stiles punches his arm.

“I'm going to punch your face too if you don't shut up.” He threatens.

Stiles only rolls his eyes, used to people threatening to hit him because he talks too much. It's a problem sometimes, but fuck if Stiles is going to stay quiet now that he's finally talking to the hottest guy on the planet. “Rude.”

When Stiles turns his attention back to Derek, the other man smiles amused and throws all the remaining candy in his mouth. Stiles cheers silently and gives him a thumbs up.

–

Even though he's trying to watch the movie, Stiles doesn't seem able to care about what's happening on the screen. Every time Derek moves or just breathes, Stiles loses his focus and turns to watch Derek instead.

“Hey.” Stiles whispers softly. “You are beautiful.”

Derek's eyes widen and he looks at Stiles like he just grew a second head. “What are you –”

Stiles waves. “Nothing, just – it's true. You are.”

Derek huffs out a laugh and stands, taking Stiles by the hand and leading him towards the exit while Captain American screams for Iron Man on the screen.

“Are we going to make out? Because I think we should.” He smirks as Derek keeps dragging him towards the parking lot. “Or are you going to murder me?”

Derek's only response is to press Stiles against the door of a black shiny Camaro and kiss him.

–

“Oh my god.” Stiles moans while Derek runs his hands under Stiles' shirt. Stiles tries to do the same, desperate to feel Derek's muscles and leave nail scratches all over Derek's back, but the stupid – so stupid now – spandex doesn't leave much space for him to do it.

Still, kissing Derek.

Awesome.

“Yeah.” Derek scrapes his teeth over Stiles' neck and rolls his hips against Stiles'.

Fuck, Stiles is so hard and he's trying to remember that they still are in a public place but everything feels so, so _good._

“Derek, fuck. Stop.” Like he was burned, Derek steps back so quickly it makes Stiles whine, missing the heat of his body immediately. “No, no. Come back.” He makes grabby hands and Derek arches his eyebrow. “I meant stop because we're still in the parking lot, but not stop _stop._ ”

“You are not making any sense.” Derek snorts but cups Stiles' cheek nonetheless and kisses him again. It's softer and less hurried this time, but equally perfect.

“It's part of my charming personality.” Stiles says, biting his bottom lip to stop another moan. “Go out with me.”

Derek pulls back, an incredulous look on his face. “What, now?”

“Yep.”

“Dressed like this?”

“Oh, man. This is hardly the weirdest thing I've ever did.” Derek looks suspicious for a second but then sighs and nods.

“We have one hour before the movie ends.” He says, shaking a car key in front of Stiles and – where was he keeping that?

It's fucking impossible to hide a car key inside that spandex.

Stiles shakes his thoughts away and motions to follow Derek, when he realizes that the black Camaro they were making out against is Derek's car.

“Holy shit.” Stiles moans before fisting Derek's black hair and fitting their mouths together again in a very dirty kiss. “This keeps getting better and better.”

Derek's eyes are dark and his lips are swollen by the time Stiles pulls away, and he's out of breath when he finally speaks. “Wow.”

 _Yeah,_ Stiles thinks, grinning. _Wow._

–

They end up buying McDonald's and eating in Derek's car where he parked behind the movie theater because it was the only place open after midnight. The guy who got their requests kept laughing at them and even called _'Avengers assemble'_ in lieu of goodbye.

It's the best first date Stiles ever had.

“Do you even like the Avengers?” Stiles asks over his mouthful.

Derek makes a show of swallowing his food and wiping his mouth with a napkin. Stiles only rolls his eyes.

“Yeah.” Derek finally answers. “I just don't feel the need to dress like them every time I go out to watch the movie.”

 _But that's the fun part,_ Stiles thinks. Especially when there are guys like Derek who could dress like Captain America or Spider-Man and look so fucking _amazing._

He doesn't say it of course, Derek doesn't need to know that Stiles liked his ass before he even liked his face.

“I don't really go out.” Derek adds, shrugging and drinking his _diet coke._

No wonder he has such a nice body, seriously.

“Well –” Stiles says after finishing his burger. “I'm glad you decided to come tonight.”

That makes Derek smile. “Me too.”

–

“Star Wars or Star Trek?”

“Star Wars.” Derek answers without blinking and Stiles gives him a thumbs up.

“Correct. Your turn.”

Derek rolls his eyes and changes the radio station. “Football or baseball?”

“Baseball.” Stiles says. Derek smiles at that. “Though I used to play lacrosse when I was in high school.”

“Lacrosse?” Derek throws his head back, laughing. Stiles slaps his shoulder and Derek raises his hands in apology. “Sorry, it's just – lacrosse, really?”

“To be honest, Coach forced me. I was really bad.” He adds, smiling fondly at the memories. He had a good time in high school, the dull ache of losing his mom getting easier to deal with. “One time I was free and had the ball but then tripped on my own feet and almost broke my nose.”

Derek laughs again while Stiles watches him, hypnotized with the way his neck looks so exposed and his Adam's apple bobbing when Derek swallows. Completely crazy by Derek's lips curving on a smile. 

It makes Stiles shiver with the want to kiss, bite, touch.

Before Stiles can think twice and give up, he moves to straddle Derek's lap and kisses him again. It doesn't take long for Derek to kiss him back, opening his mouth to let Stiles' tongue caress his and digging his fingers on Stiles' waist.

Stiles moans, pressing his hips down with more intent and deepens the kiss. The steering wheel is digging uncomfortably against his back, but he couldn't care less. Derek is hard under him and Stiles' orgasm is building quickly. He knows he's not far from coming inside his pants so he keeps moving against Derek, tilting his head to bite at Derek's neck and earlobe.

“Shit.” Derek thrusting up against Stiles' ass and sucking a merciless hickey on Stiles' throat. “Come on, Stiles.”

“Faster?” Stiles moans, squeezing his legs around the other man's waist and trying to get even closer, merge his body with Derek's. His cock is pulsing inside his boxers and he's close – so close, if Derek could just – 

“Can't wait to fuck you.” Derek says, voice husky and low, and it's game over – Stiles' orgasm hits him like a train and he muffles his shout against Derek's throat, biting hard just over his pulse point.

Derek gives a few more thrusts before he lets out a grunt and his entire body shakes under Stiles'.

“Fuck.” He whimpers.

Stiles laughs, stroking Derek's hair slowly. “Yeah.”

Their afterglow is rudely interrupted by Stiles' phone vibrating insistently in one of his pockets and he smacks his head against the roof of the Camaro in his rush to answer it.

Derek – the asshole – bursts out laughing.

“Hey, Scotty.” Stiles greets and immediately moves the phone away from his ear when a girl starts to yell. “Hey, you're not Scotty.”

Derek's eyes widen and he curses.

“No!” She yells. “The movie ended fifteen minutes ago, it's fucking freezing out here and my brother is not answering his fucking phone!”

“Okay.” Stiles says. “We will be right there?” He tries, moving to the passenger seat again while Derek turns on the engine. “Just –”

“Hurry up!” She screams again and hangs up.

“Wow, your sister is intense.” Stiles laughs nervously.

Derek scoffs. “You haven't met Laura yet.”

“Yet?” He asks hopeful, heart thundering inside his chest.

Derek flushes. “I just – I meant –”

Stiles smiles gently when Derek risks a glance at him. “Let's try going on another date first.”

“Yeah.” He agrees. “That would be better.”

While Derek parks the car in front of the movie theater, Stiles scribbles his number on a paper Derek had in his car and gives it to him along with another kiss. “Call me tomorrow.”

“I will.” Derek promises.

Stiles leans in to a last goodbye kiss, but Derek pulls him closer, running his tongue over Stiles' bottom lip.

“If you had sex in the car I'm going to murder you, Derek!” Cora yells, yanking the passenger door open.

Scott is standing next to her, looking vaguely disgusted by the thought of his best friend having sex.

Stiles shakes his head fondly, kisses Derek one last time and gets out of the car.

“Bye, Cora.” He waves. Cora slaps his hand, glaring at him and slips inside the car.

Stiles can hear her yelling at Derek while they drive away and when he turns to Scott, his friend is shaking his head frantically. “I'm happy for you, but I don't want to know.”

“Dude, I wasn't going to tell you.” Scott seems skeptical, but he offers his fist for Stiles to bump anyway. “So how was it?”

“It was the best movie ever!” Scott yells excitedly. “Your loss, dude.”

 _No,_ Stiles thinks and smiles, _no loss._

_At all._

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to use this moment to congratulate Tyler Hoechlin because his ass is amazing.  
> That's it.
> 
> Hope you liked it!  
> Comments are always welcome.  
> [Tumblr](http://www.brookesbutler.tumblr.com) if you want to talk


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